Robert Forster can dance better than… is a series of dance reviews by SPOCSYM’s current in-house naked aids victim ghost, Rudolf Nureyev. Free from the shackle of mortality, he has plenty of time to contemplate modern dance and send us his verdicts through the medium of the internet.

now a ghost

Nureyev appeared to me in a dream recently and we had a chat about what dance means to him, how it shaped his life, and the goals of Robert Forster can dance better than…

SPOCSYM: Hi Rudolf, still looking for the clothes huh?

Nureyev: I spent fifty three years wearing clothes. It was okay, but when you’re naked there is much more freedom, so I don’t really plan to start wearing them again.

SPOCSYM: That’s fine. Okay, so you’ve started your reviews properly now? Tell us about them; what do you hope people will learn from them?

Nureyev: Dance is one of the purest forms of expression. It takes considerable skill and finesse and when done right is hypnotic, captivating. But there is such scope for hideousness, ugliness too. I’d just like to share my opinions; point people in the right direction for some great dancing, steer them away from bad dancing. Just help people learn a little more, I hope anyway! (laughs)

SPOCSYM: Well, having read your work before, I completely think you’ll do that. You’ve a great base of knowledge to draw upon and that gives your reviews much more credibility.

Nureyev: Thank you.

SPOCSYM: So the title, why Robert Forster?

Nureyev: I remember the first time I saw Robert dance. It was the video for spring rain by the Go-Betweens, you know where he grooves alongside those railings?


Nureyev: He just had such conviction of movement, so open with himself, his body. I really think he is a wonderful dancer.

SPOCSYM: So you’ll judge other’s dances by how they stand up to Forster’s ability?

Nureyev: Exactly. I use Robert as a benchmark. Few come close, but you know, some are up there near him. I hope to show people those, and just get some dance appreciation going.

SPOCSYM: Well we’re very excited to have you on board Rudolf. You know your stuff and I’m sure people will love to hear what you’ve got to say.

Nureyev: Thanks, again thank you. Hey, Margot is calling me. You know…

SPOCSYM: Sure, of course. Thanks for dropping in on me Rudolf, we’ll chat soon.

Nureyev: See ya! (waves cheerily)

Readers will be glad to know, I’m sure, that Rudolf looks really well. He seems totally happy with his current post-life state. He mentioned in another brief possession how much he enjoys seeing Margot (Fonteyn) again. He says they’ve been hanging out, dancing, sharing their secrets again. We’re really glad for the guy.

Anyhow, if you have a dance that you believe would interest Rudolf, send an email to containing the title, artist, any information you think relevant. We will invoke his spirit and pass the information on.

Below you can find links to all of Nureyev’s reviews, organised alphabetically by the name of the dancer/troupe. Enjoy!

Jona Lewie

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