Real talk is the division of SPOCSYM aimed at lending emotional support to the hip-hop, rhythm and blues, and rap communities.

The researcher for this series of articles is none other than the disgraced Dr Charlton DeRyan. Awarded a PhD in psychoanalysis by Princeton University, his thesis on the playground origins of the notorious East-West coast ‘beef’ earned him international acclaim.

However, the validity of his qualification was called into question in the late nineties when it emerged that the supervising professor for his thesis, Rick James, was a habitual cocaine user. Further accusations were levelled at James, with many observers claiming that he had no recognised qualifications at all, and his near-permanently drugged state made him unfit to supervise in the highest academic echelon.

Dr DeRyan was an outspoken and stalwart defender of James, which led to insinuations that he was abusing narcotics himself. Subsequently, the credibility of his studies rapidly declined.

Whilst James kept his honorary fellowship at Princeton University until his death in 2004, Dr DeRyan had no such luck. A scandal concerning his sexual practices surfaced, compounding his status in academic circles as a rogue, a maverick.

‘honorary fellowship at Princeton University’

Despite his best efforts to continue his research and aid for the rap community, sufficient damage to his reputation had been done, and few academics took him seriously.

Enough has been said of Dr DeRyan’s loud and repeated insults directed at his colleagues who failed to stand by him and his work. He has come to terms with the rocky opening period of his career, and wishes to put it all behind him.

In recent interviews, he has mentioned how he sees real talk as an opportunity to have his work recognised once again, and how he believes his comprehensive and insightful studies are enough to escape the lingering stench of Rick James and perverse sexual acts.

The following is an excerpt from a radio interview in which he spoke about his new work:

…I’m sorry, I have no desire whatsoever to talk about Rick James or the… the ‘sex’; these things are behind me now. SPOCSYM has given me the platform to have my work heard again. I simply want to build a comprehensive emotional support group for absolutely everybody in the hip-hop, rhythm and blues, and rap communities, that’s all.

Too often have these gentlemen suffered at the behest of their emotions; faltering relationships, sexual insecurities, Freudian interactions with mothers and grandmothers, terrible grammar and spelling, destructive addictions; Their permanently trying lives must wear down on the soul in a manner the rest of us can barely imagine.

Constantly the rap artist speaks of his music as ‘real’; with this tumultuous reality, it is no wonder they find solace in their music. Their continual cries for help are a call to arms for us sensitive young men.

But we are not crusaders. We wish only the best for those who give us so much joy through their ubiquitous drum machines and never-ending similes.

Incoherent social commentator Christopher Bridges (AKA Ludacris) recently spoke about Dr. DeRyan’s attempted return:

Charlton is a great guy, and he’s done a lot of great work for the rap community, it’s good. Everyone should look past the nasty business about the sex. I mean I love sex a lot, sure that shit was weird, hell, but you know I love sex.  Many say it’s the only thing I rap about, sex that is, which isn’t entirely true, so hmm… I’ve done songs about cars and one about strangling, and loads of others actually. I’m not just about sex.

Christopher Bridges echoes SPOCSYM’s sentiment quite accurately. Not that shit about his rapping, mind, but the backing of Dr DeRyan’s earnest attempts to improve the emotional condition of these troubled souls.

If you have observed worrying symptoms of underlying mental trauma in your favourite rap star, please don’t hesitate to contact Dr DeRyan at spocysm@gmail.com. Between his field research, lecture tours, and perverse sexual life, he endeavours to respond to all correspondence within a week.

Selected articles from Dr Charlton Ryan’s research canon are available below.

Robert Kelly: a relationship analysis

DMX and anachronistic contraception

Who? Prosopagnosia in the rap community

Basic Urban Couture – Sartorial Guide